A Book Review by Ed Ruggero
When my children were going through what my wife and I call “the long, dark tunnel of adolescence,” we spent a lot of time thinking and talking about what we could control versus what we could not control when it came to the kids. One day we picked up a copy of this book to help us explore the idea a bit further. From my earlier exposure to Epictetus (eh-pick-TEE-tuss), a philosopher and former Roman slave born in A.D. 55, I knew that one of the central tenets of his thinking could be translated as, “Don’t worry about things you cannot control.”
Epictetus devoted himself to what he thought of as life’s central questions
- How do I live a happy and meaningful life?
- How can I be both a noble and an effective person?
Since this blog and my work on The Leader’s Compass is built on the belief that one’s character is an essential component of how one leads, nothing could be more appropriate here than a classic treatment of how we form and nurture character.
According to Professor William O. Stevens of Creighton University, Epictetus and his followers, called Stoics, believed that “how we choose to behave, along with our attitudes, emotional responses and mental outlook, are up to us to control. We cannot be forced to have beliefs, form judgments or attempt actions without consciously, voluntarily choosing to do so . . . Events in the world, on the other hand, including all the beliefs and actions of other people, are not in our control. Such things as the weather, the stock market or the behavior of dogs, drivers or dot-com companies are not up to us.”
Thus the path to both happiness and effectiveness (used here as Steven Covey uses it when talking about Highly Effective People) is “to train ourselves to limit our desires and concerns to what is up to us, and not to worry about, fear or get upset by things that are not up to us. In this respect, Stoicism is a kind of coping strategy. The central idea is to try to do the right thing, in every situation, without losing one’s calm, becoming frustrated or getting angry. ‘Doing the right thing’ includes fulfilling our responsibilities to family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, fellow travelers, fellow citizens and, in general, fellow human beings.”
Lebell’s book is a modern adaptation and paraphrase that will surely disappoint some purists and philosophers, but it is useful for anyone seeking to live a better life. Lebell’s book contains ninety-three instructions or brief discussions of the philosopher’s advice—perfect for reading over time or in short bursts. They are accessible, useful and well-worth careful consideration; they are not a superficial or lightweight checklist of the kind that comprise most business and self-help books.
One page, headed, “Treasure Your Mind. Cherish Your Reason. Hold to Your Purpose,” challenges us to think about how readily we let others influence us.
Don’t surrender your mind.
If someone were to casually give your body away to any old passerby, you would naturally be furious. Why then do you feel no shame in giving your precious mind over to any person who might wish to influence you? Think twice before you give up your own mind to someone who may revile you, leaving you confused and upset.”
How I act is at the heart of my effectiveness as a leader. Epictetus invites me to a thoughtful consideration of both how I act and how I react to the world around me.
